It would appear rather obvious to anyone who cares, that in order to reduce the deficit and maintain a robust economy, we need to cut public services.
Now, I'm all for a regular bus timetable.
Without concise timings, and rigid punctuality, the hard-fought plans of IDS (Peace Be Upon Him) would be nothing more than an exercise in redeployment.
We need workers, of course we do.
Our banks and retailers will not grow exponentially, if we don't feed them a healthy dose of human misery.
But I will not stand idly by, and watch millions of our Great British Pounds, wash away down the drains of the public sector.
In order to reduce the deficit and maintain a robust economy, we need to invest in stocks & shares, ensure everyone over 65 has a healthy mortgage, and stop spending our money on Johnny Foreigner, the feckless, the bad-back brigade and wanton single mothers.
If you're a bally bin-man, be thankful you're not in Afghanistan or The Falklands, taking on the Argies and IRIS.
If you're a teacher, enjoy your ruddy holidays, and TEACH for heaven's sake!
If you're a nurse, try & be a little more sympathetic, and make sure you can speak Her Majesty the Queen's English, before sticking anything up my bottom.
In order to reduce the deficit and maintain a robust economy, we need to be a lot more like we used to be, and a lot less like Trumpton.
Or for that matter, Chigley.
In the town of Camberwick Green there is a fire service.
Smart chaps.
Always well turned out, polished boots, shiny brass and the what-not.
But they are constantly out on-call, primarily because everything is wooden and made by traditional craftsmen, such as Chippy Minton.
And also because of cats.
Stuck up trees, stuck in trees, stuck near a tree, or caught up in a windmill.
They could improve things an awful lot if they banned cats.
The bureaucratic cretin at the Town Hall has no idea about funding (probably a bloody Trot) and he nonchalantly bank-rolls these public servants, every week, and then expects them to play music in the park bandstand every day!!!
What a complete waste of good honest taxpayers' money!
In order to reduce the deficit and maintain a robust economy we mustn't pay overtime to public sector workers.
We are not a ruddy something-for-nothing society!
And there's a whole PLATOON of soldiers at Pippin Fort.
And a drawbridge.
Instead of trundling around in an army truck (and a humpety-bumpety army truck at that) why doesn't Captain Snort teach his NCO's how to play a bally brass instrument, and relieve the overpaid & over-utilised fire service of some of their duties?
Bolsheviks I can only imagine?
And tree-huggers as well no doubt.
The army was never this incompetent under Major IDS (Peace Be Upon Him).
He knows how to motivate the idle.
So I therefore say, nay DEMAND - Bring Back National Service!
God Bless Her Majesty.
And in order to reduce the deficit and maintain a robust economy - Vote Tory.
