R.I.P KIM

Father rang.
Turns out they've increased his Winter Fuel Payment, despite his persistent asking that they didn't.
His argument is that anyone geographically below the M4 motorway requires less heat than that grim northern lot, primarily due to lower winter temperatures, but more specifically due to voting choice.
The WFP was not something we voted for.
Blair and his chamois-socialist lot brought that little sweetener in, and a fat lot of good it did them!

Father has received countless Xmas cards from ex-members of the 49th Armoured Division this year, and it transpires that they also have had an increase in their WFP, despite living it up in Nicosia & Gib!
Tommo, Degsy, Trev and Barry have all agreed to pool their payments, and stick on a bally big beach party around the time of the next General Election.

I too received my annual £10 Xmas bonus from the DWP, but couldn't find anything in Waitrose for under a ruddy tenner, so I sunk a few shandies in the British Legion, and wrote a stern letter to IDS.

The way I see it (and I'm sure Pa would agree), with Iran getting all defensive over its natural resources, and this new fella in charge of what was quite a well organised bunch of Korean chaps, I couldn't help think that if all 2million of us on ESA gave our tenner back to HMG, we could invest in a early warning system, or at least a small tank?
We are all in this together, but it would appear that some of us are a little more privileged than others, at this special time of year.
Crack-dealers & Greggs must be rubbing their hands with glee.

Glad to see Dave is bringing marriage back into fashion.
'Moral neutrality or passive tolerance' won't get this constipated economy running again.
A bloody big bible in every school might do the job though!
Very much looking forward to the Compulsory Church Attendance Bill next spring.

Still no word from Lowestoft John, my Personal Adviser.
Probably has a month off over Xmas to work out how much more pension he's going to get (less WFP and Xmas bonus).

And RIP Kim.
At least you had the decency to go at a sensible age, like most Great Leaders.
No one likes a drain on the state.
There's only so much golf a pensioner can play.

Happy New Year Dwile Flonkers.

IT'S TIME FOR PARTITION

Let's not beat about the ruddy bush on this one.
If that olive-dunking, student-sucking, snivelling little trot Clegg wants a fight, he's got one after that outburst.
He's only 'deputy' prime minister because Red Ed & Blue Balls' party split the vote, and if he wants to be part of a Europe that's going down the lavatory quicker than the knickers on an X Factor girl-band, then lets draw some lines of demarcation shall we?

I propose a border wall around Greater London & the Home Counties, with a patrolled exit corridor stretching as far as Hunstanton, and stop-off points at Walberswick & Burnham Market(school holidays only).
Clegg and his short-sighted, Lavazza-loving cronies can have the rest.
While he's there he can have all the EU migrant workers, the long-term sick, the work-shy and the whole of the BBC.

There's no point just being nice in politics; it doesn't work.
If Margaret had been a nice guy, the Falkland Islanders would all be speaking Spanish now, and Lord Carrington would have his own prime-time TV show.

We can't let the kids have subsidised schooling.
Before you know it, the Canadians & Australians will all want to pay for their Creative Writing degrees without even attending our proud ex-polytechnics.

And we must veto the Europeans.
I can't believe we still think a shoddy currency and a Brussels expensefest is a good idea!?
I mean, what is the POINT of Nick Clegg?
And what is the point of being 'in' the EU?
If some of the great British population want to be led by a Gaul, yet run by a pinko, let them have their own bally republic.
Meanwhile, hard working, morally astute, indigenous types can be free (after all, that is surely the point of a democracy?) to spend our money, save our economy, drive our cars and holiday in Suffolk, without worrying about a bunch of Bubbles and Paddies who can't control their own purse strings.

I say we should have a referendum on partition.
Get Boris onto it.
And the sooner the better..........