TIME TO SIEGE THE EMBASSY

Now I don't want to get into the legal differences between squatters' rights and political asylum, but if our 'boys in blue' are now allowed to evict the unwashed & feckless from empty unwanted properties, surely they can arrest known criminals that are camping out on working embassies' floors?

I never had much time for the Ecuadorians myself.
Funny bunch.
Never really forgave them for 1979.

But just last Tuesday, on speaking to my friend Captain Vaughan Lockhart-Smith of Ellingham (lets call him Pinky), he told me house prices have plummeted since the antipodean chose a Baby Belling and a floor-mat, over one of Suffolk's finest stately homes.

Assange may be a cad in the sack, and he jolly well is an enemy to Western governments' security, but when the Aussies start fiddling with our finances in our own backyards, I think it's time we ruddy well called out the SAS!

Still, I suppose we at least have Claudia 'Get Orf My Land' Schiffer to keep the natives away.

A FOGGY CLEGG GOES BATTY OVER COMPO

So Kinky thinks he can push through a so-called 'Mansion Tax' does he?
Sneaking around the back of Parliament, hoping no-one will notice.

Well we for one have noticed Nick.
Don't think our minor celebrations at successfully reforming the welfare system (in theory)
have distracted us from what you were up to.
Oh no!
We are more than aware that you aim to persecute those that have legitimately inherited, or successfully accrued, properties as investments.

Have you heard the phrase "Property rich; cash poor"?
That's us Cleggy.

We can't afford tuition fees, foreign holidays, eye-pod dockers, widescreen wirelesses or wireless hi-fis anymore.
We can barely heat our houses since Blair sold us out to the Bolsheviks.
But an Englishman's home is his castle (as I imagine it is for a Taff or a Mick).
And without our castles, how do you expect us to secure loans or credit card agreements?
This country requires homeowners to spend and rack up debts to kick-start the economy.
And you want to rob the cash poor of their remaining savings, just to prop up a feckless and work-shy underclass?

That isn't egalitarianism Nick.
That's pinko-bully philosophy.

Our children aren't offered National Service any more, they're robbed of their student grants, they can't afford their mobile telephone bills, we can't get Olympics tickets anywhere (let alone child benefit), our horses have little or no grass, and now you want to force us, to make them homeless?

Some of them are barely 27 years old!

What kind of monster are you Mr.Clegg?

Shame on you.
(And shame on your proposals).