LADIES FINGERS & FABIO-A-GO-GO

Spilt some Brasso on the bally carpet.
I was only buffing up the county shields, and the kids' school trophy.
It was hardly worth the ensuing panic.

Mrs.Mac is on one of her residential poetry weekends.
Can't see the point myself.
Full of libidinous types, who think daffodils are a deterrent to modern warfare.

Telephone-ordered an Indian takeaway.
Disappointedly a little greasy.
Uncorked the damson wine - a gift from Lionel on hearing the news about my polyp.
Lionel's very active in the autumn months.
Industrious.

Found myself watching that Gak Won fellow on the goggle-box.
Terribly anxious for a heavy-set colonial.
Made me feel slightly uneasy.
The BBC news was full of Fabio Costello's departure.
Good riddance I say. Ruddy Johnny Foreigner.
About time the sweet FA did something about all these migrant workers.

Why I didn't carefully spread out yesterday's Mail-on-Sunday I will never know?
A huge stain. Massive. Shaped like Malaya before the uprising.
Probably have to forego the 'no-claims' on this one.

And still no idea as to how The Moghul cooks their ladies' fingers?
Were they supposed to weep so sadly?

Mrs.Mac's back tomorrow.
She'll have a few answers.
No doubt.

Fine filly.
(Very similar in stature to Lowestoft John).

IT'S TIME FOR PARTITION

Let's not beat about the ruddy bush on this one.
If that olive-dunking, student-sucking, snivelling little trot Clegg wants a fight, he's got one after that outburst.
He's only 'deputy' prime minister because Red Ed & Blue Balls' party split the vote, and if he wants to be part of a Europe that's going down the lavatory quicker than the knickers on an X Factor girl-band, then lets draw some lines of demarcation shall we?

I propose a border wall around Greater London & the Home Counties, with a patrolled exit corridor stretching as far as Hunstanton, and stop-off points at Walberswick & Burnham Market(school holidays only).
Clegg and his short-sighted, Lavazza-loving cronies can have the rest.
While he's there he can have all the EU migrant workers, the long-term sick, the work-shy and the whole of the BBC.

There's no point just being nice in politics; it doesn't work.
If Margaret had been a nice guy, the Falkland Islanders would all be speaking Spanish now, and Lord Carrington would have his own prime-time TV show.

We can't let the kids have subsidised schooling.
Before you know it, the Canadians & Australians will all want to pay for their Creative Writing degrees without even attending our proud ex-polytechnics.

And we must veto the Europeans.
I can't believe we still think a shoddy currency and a Brussels expensefest is a good idea!?
I mean, what is the POINT of Nick Clegg?
And what is the point of being 'in' the EU?
If some of the great British population want to be led by a Gaul, yet run by a pinko, let them have their own bally republic.
Meanwhile, hard working, morally astute, indigenous types can be free (after all, that is surely the point of a democracy?) to spend our money, save our economy, drive our cars and holiday in Suffolk, without worrying about a bunch of Bubbles and Paddies who can't control their own purse strings.

I say we should have a referendum on partition.
Get Boris onto it.
And the sooner the better..........