REDS UNDER THE SHED

The X5 is in for a full scrub & body wax, so I journeyed to see Lowestoft John (my Personal Adviser) via public transport, and I'd just like to say what a marvellous job Abellio trains have made of First Class these days.
Bravo Abellio!

I was late arriving at the station, so their punctuality met mine within a millisecond.
A whole carriage to myself, and free coffee from a smashing young orange-coloured lady made the journey as painless as a trip to a private dentist.
The only poor moment was when a drainpipe-clad youth embarked at Oulton Broad, looking like a demob Elvis in Springbok training shoes, and proceeded to spread his hate-filled media rag all over our cubicle!
I have never read The Guardian, but I couldn't believe my eyes when I read some of the headlines.
It's an incredibly worrying sight to see such hate-filled filth written about the newly elected 45th President of the Unites States of America & the British Empire.
I was appalled at the way they were castigating this democratically elected businessman.
Our cousins over the pond have always had a special relationship with our imperial Queendom, so to accuse this hard-working and sincere everyman of somehow creating a maelstrom of ill-feeling was nothing short of leftist bleating and pinko sour grapes.
They'll be saying the Glorious Referendum was undemocratic next!

Mister Trump won fair & square.
The people of America have spoken.
They clearly wanted the best man to win, and the worst woman to lose.
I for one have every faith in Mister Trump, and only ask him to remember that NATO is a collective of like-minded freedom fighters, some with Great British Army excellence. others with a sort of flaky dependence, but ALL with a message for the Chinese, Ruskies, North Careerists and Argentina - Britannia rules the waves - you lot stick to your dim sum and corned beef!

The Bolshevik Bulletin continued to moan about Donald's proposed 'Fajita-Fence', but I didn't see anyone complaining about Mister Arbuthnot at No.64's continuous row of leylandii.
They accused Trump of being homophobic, when I for one know he is a red-blooded hedgerow sexual, because I've seen the pictures of his girlfriends in the Mail Online.
And one of the lefty liberal luvvies even had the audacity to write a piece implying that Donald J was against Obamacare!
What the last president chooses to do with his retirement is of no concern to them.
If Mister Barracks wants to work as a nurse for the elderly, I say we should let him.

The limp-quiffed Showaddywaddy body left his libelous leaflet on the seat next to me at Lowestoft, so I scooped it up and retained it for the rat poison bedding underneath Allotment Alan's shed.
This sort of doctrinal slander is nothing short of communist propaganda.
I shall be writing a very stern letter to the Telegraph as soon as I've attended my work-related support group interview at Northrop Grumman.

God bless America.
God save the Queen.
In Democracy we trust.