THE FALLACY OF EXHAUSTIVE HYPOTHESES

Apologies for the delay in bloggering chaps.
This whole kerfuffle with St. Iain 'Peace Be Upon Him' Duncan Smith has left rather a sour taste in my mortgaged-up mouth, and Mrs.Mac is beside herself over who will win Top Gear.
Needless to say, the fellow that's taken over at DWP HQ appears to be cut from the same cloth-cap as St.Iain, and it's more of the same for Broken British Benefit Bolsheviks & Their Gypsy Wedding Council Houses.

Stick them in the ruddy army I say!
That'll sort the tweets from the chavs!

Anyhoo.
On to this bally Referendum thingamajig.
I was terribly undecided for a while.
Far too much choice.
When Jeremiah Corbine stuck his trotty little snout into the mix, I was very much in favour of going all-out with Rupert, Bernard and Bojo.
But when I saw that David & Gideon had plans for a Google-Airbus sponsored European Super Army,
AND they were going to sell-off our failing NHS to the Yanks, I must say I was torn like Imbruglia.

Luckily Mrs. Mac wants nothing to do with the whole shebang, favouring the Rosberg/Hamilton dichotomy over central party policy.
Therefore I shall take her proxy vote from her Chablis-stained trotters, and have two stabs at voting myself.

I'm thinking I will stick one in the back of the Euro Soccer net and go all out with Nicky Morgan and the Remain lot.
But I shall also move heaven & earth and the Isle of Wight to a more defensive position in the mid-Atlantic, and join Nigel & Govey for a damn good Leave vote as well.
Win/Win.
Job's a good 'un!

God save the Queen!

IT'S TIME FOR PARTITION

Let's not beat about the ruddy bush on this one.
If that olive-dunking, student-sucking, snivelling little trot Clegg wants a fight, he's got one after that outburst.
He's only 'deputy' prime minister because Red Ed & Blue Balls' party split the vote, and if he wants to be part of a Europe that's going down the lavatory quicker than the knickers on an X Factor girl-band, then lets draw some lines of demarcation shall we?

I propose a border wall around Greater London & the Home Counties, with a patrolled exit corridor stretching as far as Hunstanton, and stop-off points at Walberswick & Burnham Market(school holidays only).
Clegg and his short-sighted, Lavazza-loving cronies can have the rest.
While he's there he can have all the EU migrant workers, the long-term sick, the work-shy and the whole of the BBC.

There's no point just being nice in politics; it doesn't work.
If Margaret had been a nice guy, the Falkland Islanders would all be speaking Spanish now, and Lord Carrington would have his own prime-time TV show.

We can't let the kids have subsidised schooling.
Before you know it, the Canadians & Australians will all want to pay for their Creative Writing degrees without even attending our proud ex-polytechnics.

And we must veto the Europeans.
I can't believe we still think a shoddy currency and a Brussels expensefest is a good idea!?
I mean, what is the POINT of Nick Clegg?
And what is the point of being 'in' the EU?
If some of the great British population want to be led by a Gaul, yet run by a pinko, let them have their own bally republic.
Meanwhile, hard working, morally astute, indigenous types can be free (after all, that is surely the point of a democracy?) to spend our money, save our economy, drive our cars and holiday in Suffolk, without worrying about a bunch of Bubbles and Paddies who can't control their own purse strings.

I say we should have a referendum on partition.
Get Boris onto it.
And the sooner the better..........

WHO WILL RID US OF THESE TURBULENT PRIESTS?

I see the bally church bods are having their ten penn'orth again.

There was a time when bishops knew their place.

Neighbours, Corrie and chessboards were littered with them, but in general they saved their pontificating for the pulpit.

R.Williams should stick to duetting with Nicole Kidman, and keep his trotty nose out of Ian Duncan Smith's affairs.

And what IS their problem?

Of course we should cap weekly benefits at £500.

There's only so many Peperami's one can eat over the course of fifteen Jeremy Kyle shows.

And if you smoked a whole pack of Mayfair every day, you'd still only need £35.

Cider has never been cheaper, and kids should be at school, not having tax-payers' money lavished on them to the tune of a few hundred quid!

If we're all expected to sort out this financial deficit then the work-shy dole bludgers should suffer too.
It's not fair that I can recognise a positive gearshift in socio-economic policy, when the feckless are watching X Factor and doing nothing about improving their status.
We should cap benefits at £60 per week, send all children to boarding school, and supply each & every individual with a Personal Adviser.

We all know the economy is fragile and cuts are needed.

We are all in this together, whether we like it or not.

A friend of mine has not only given up his membership of the golf-club, he has sold all his gear too!

On eBay!

Got quite a pretty penny for it all.

And he bloody loved golf, but the poor fellow is grief-stricken to the point of paralysis.

Perhaps if the jobless spent more time online, and less time in the bookies, they too could do their bit for society.

And if they can't afford the cost of living in London, then ruddy well move!
I've seen how wonderfully cheap housing can be in rural East Anglia.
There's some bloody lovely cottages on the Suffolk coast that would appear to be empty most of the time.
I wouldn't advise telling the landlords you're in receipt of benefits or poor; it's probably best to say you're a freelance poet and you work from home.

And call me cynical, but I notice the bishops of Norwich, Ipswich & St.Edmundsbury are all getting on their soap-boxes about this. I wonder if that has something to do with East Anglia having the largest incremental rent increase year on year (2010/11)?
Caring clergy?
Penny-pinching landlords more like!
It really has come to something when the Church collection plate is being topped-up by recycled taxes.

I'm going to put all of these points to John, my Personal Adviser tomorrow.
I'm sure he's not on £500 a week, and I bet he copes admirably.
I'm hoping we can get all the paperwork out of the way by lunchtime, and then maybe share a round of golf.

I'll head for the hotel once I've watched 'Songs of Praise'........