WORK RELATED ACTIVIA

Felt I better dip back in before Larry Grayson gets to run Great Britain, and we're all sucking minestrone through the Eurotunnel on a formaldehyde bed made of chintzy pottery.
Shut that door and bolt it by all means.
Put up a ruddy great wall as well!
But if poofters in wigs & dresses start telling our democratically-elected GCHQ how to run this disunited kingdom of ours, what hope have we got when it comes to restoring parliamentary sovereignty?
The people demanded we were back in control.
The people have spoken.

Call Me Dave's definitive victory over those bearded Trots in opposition was a rallying cry to all of those who had parents who fought a war (then gave birth) to keep us free from the tyranny of fascism and stinky cheese.
And now the Iron Lady is back, to ensure we rightly take control of what is ours, was always ours, and will eventually be ours, once we've ascertained what exactly it really is?

Bravo to Nigel and Iain 'Peace Be Upon Him' DS.
Sterling work by Govey.
And I have to say, I thought Gidiot was one of those neo-liberal centrists for a bit.
But it turns out, he's just like his father!
So.
Jolly good show all round.
(Mrs.Mac says you have to start sentences with 'So' now, otherwise the Under 35's can't understand you).

I truly believe that if we can get President Trump's Fajita-Fence to circumnavigate the non-Rio dagoes, and throw up a barrier between Buenos Arses and Port Stanley, we're only two corned beef tins short of a brand new British Empire.

http://yannymac-dwileflonker.blogspot.com/2013/03/hands-off-our-mineral-deposits-mrsargy.html

So.
Good times ahead.
Bit disappointed with those who decided to jump ship with the pinkos in June.
Felt Branson would've been more patriotic, what with all that tax he doesn't pay.
A beard hides a multitude of sins.
And I couldn't for the life of me understand why Wiff-Waff Cumberbatch's eldest chose to bat for the Johnnies??
I thought after Her Royal Highness the Queen of the Commonwealth & the United Kingdom of GB & N.I. gave him that CBE he'd be a betting certainty for a place in the first XV, a landed-peerage in Dorset and an eleventh series of Sherlock?
Let that be a lesson to any luvvies out there - Don't play colonial wikipeadophiles.
They're just trying to bring attention to themselves.

So.
The real reason I called was to say how delighted I am that this new chap Damian 'Peace Also Be Upon Him' Green has managed to finally get me back off the feckless gravy boat, and back into the coalface; albeit without any coal, but with the promise of a career in the Independent Contractor Short Term Engagement sector.

Apparently Lowestoft John (my Personal Adviser) will be called upon to display all of his talents at DWP JC+, and find me and the other 'boys that I meet down on the line'
( LOLL!! ! # -(:; smiling face - hashtag )
worthwhile jobs in the newly booming post-Brexit/pre-Brexit economy.I toyed with applying for a banker's position, but when I realised there were more than two banks to choose from, I had a nosebleed and panicked with indecision.


So.
I've decided to apply for the post of Leader of the Opposition.
If there is one?
Damo says if the ESA Support Group don't go for auditions, all of that lottery money they've been splurging on the soap-dodgers will have to be withdrawn through sanctioning.
I'm massively in favour as you know.

http://yannymac-dwileflonker.blogspot.com/2012/02/we-are-nothing-without-our-banks.html

Zoinking oiks (along with badger-baiting) are well known rural pastimes, and if Mrs Merkin and the Belgiums want to stop us from smoking ferret pelts, as well as denying us a good old pint of two-star petrol, then I say bring back the 8 day week.
(And abolish the weekend).
The sheep-shirkers have had it their way for far too long!
Tax credits and Simon Cowell do not make for an imperial nation.

Now all I have to do is get old Abbot-snatcher off the pot, destroy the multi-party electoral system, recapture Calais, trigger Particle 50 and run for leader of UKIP.
Tally-ho!

I wonder if they'll reimburse my expenses?
Those fine chaps at ATOS did.

God save the Queen.
And bring back compulsory boarding school for the Under 5's.

WHO PUT THE 'TORY' IN INFLAMMATORY?

Ahead of my fourth tribunal hearing on Monday, I thought I'd better keep the old interblog chaps up to speed, so as to avoid any confusion if I'm shipped overnight to L.A., to replace Simon Towell on that talent show thingy.

I must say I'm not sure this is a good waste of taxpayers' money.
I'm perfectly capable of finding myself fit for work, without these bally DWP chaps suggesting I might not be.

My last tribunal hearing was cancelled because of (off the record & only allegedly) "the judge and doctor being struck off".
Now I know most of the GPs, JPs and BPs in East Anglia, and you have try ruddy bloody hard to get struck off these days.
An old friend of mine (let's call him Bunny) was eventually dispatched for charging his patients 200 guineas for a sick-note, something the GMC frowned heavily upon.
Bunny set up his own private practice after that, turning his back on the whole shoddy affair.
As he correctly said;
"What's more important?
Saving lives or creating work for a bunch of left-wing namby pamby trots in a nurse uniform?"
I think we can all agree with the sentiment.

I am however getting a tad miffed about all this 'Con-Dem' naysaying, and general dissent within the ranks.
It's not our Dave's fault the spics (and the wops) spent all the ready cash, and forced us all into upping the drawbridge.
Dave cares about England, and he and his cohorts IDS(RIP) & Christopher Grayling are damned fine chaps when it comes to getting the economy up and running again.
Only last week, an Air Commodore friend of mine (let's call him Piggy) told me in the strictest confidence, that our arms industry is worth £22 BILLION to old blighty's crown jewel purse.
That's an awful lot of cash when compared to say sales figures for the liberal nonsense comic The Guardian, that rarely breaks the £6million mark.
(My association soccer team Brighton & Hove Albion have a left-half worth more than that!)

Anyway. I think it's time we started looking at the positives in this whole welfare reform thingy.
Mrs Mac feels that my desire to pack up my old kit-bag and pick up my rifle again should be tempered with a visit to Lowestoft John (my Personal Adviser).
I personally feel she is always wrong, and with a little joined-up sky and a little blue thinking, we could get England (and a large part of Wales) back into work and out of the labour exchange. We need progressive thinkers like Bunny & Piggy, a good dose of the old bamboo, a few cold showers and a jolly bracing work-ethic that says

No! To shirkers.
No! To disabled benefit hoarders.
No! To mini-cabs.
No! To heavy-petting & bombing.
No! To council houses for single mums with itinerant boyfriends.
No! To foreigners who aren't tourists.
No! To free stuff for those who haven't earned the right to free stuff yet.

And no to this have-a-go-hero culture that rewards immigrants with no grasp of the King James' Holy Bible, and who insist on having families.
This 'bogof' society that expects free prescriptions, when men fought and died against the Germans to put square meals on the table, and the right to vote for discipline in schools and the right to bare their arms.
This septic isle, rotten to the core, and full of alcopops and Stephen Fry homogenousness.

It's time to keep Britain tidy again!
It's time to dig deep for victory.
It's time to keep mum.
It's time to bag it & bin it (or face a fine of up to a maximum of £1000).

OCCUPY LOWESTOFT (No. Not really. Lol!)

I'm still in bed.
I have to say, these pills are bloody marvellous.
I can see why the sixties happened and that.

Been listening to that Vine fellow on Radio Two, and although he talks a lot of sense, I think he sometimes takes the moral high-ground with regard to defending stupid people.
If you're constantly getting burgled, move house!
The market's flat enough to do a side-shift, and if like me, you actually need to live in rural Suffolk, sell the Cherokee and downsize.
The winters are getting milder, and the kids are probably old enough to walk to university now.

Anyway.
That's all a bit of a hub-bub and bally hoo.
The real reason for putting pen to paper today, is to thank the Right Honourable Dave Cameron for his recent thoughts on complicit and fraudulent doctors.
According to the Daily Mail, something like 80 or 90% of medical professionals are in cahoots with the bad-back brigade, and the loss to our economy in sicknote man-hours is the price of a small African coup!
Thankfully Dave wants to replace them all with Independent Advisers, something we should've done in 1945.

An Independent Adviser will be answerable to no-one other than the shareholders (and possibly IDS).
There'll be less need for empathy or bedside manner, and more emphasis on getting shirkers to earn their keep, possibly in a lesser role than they're used to, but positively boosting the economy to greater heights than Australia's.
It's important that sickness absence is eradicated from our culture, if we're all to live above our means and in the manner to which we are accustomed.

If a civil servant has to pick asparagus in springtime, more power to his elbow.
If a teacher has to stuff giblets into turkey carcasses, then why not?
An active workforce will not only provide encouragement for future generations, it will also reduce the amount of vacancies for migrant workers.
And the queues at the local health centre will improve too.

Bloody good idea DC.
Next week I will ask my Personal Adviser, John, about applying for these positions.

Not this week though.
Let me just finish off this amitriptyline...........