Friday, 3 February 2012


It turns out that Allotment Alan was up to no good.
I only caught the end of the conversation in the Legion last night, but it would appear that he was breeding skunks with an anthropomorphic lighting system.
He's looking at 18months.
Bilko reckons they'll throw away the key.

Meanwhile, all the pinkos on Facebook are getting uppity about bank managers' xmas bonuses.
May I take this opportunity to remind readers, that once upon a time banks were only there for the very rich. People would literally keep their savings 'under the mattress', and mortgages were just a pipe-dream.
Many people lived in houses made out of horse dung.
It was the banks that liberated us from domestic tyranny.

If the feckless and the undeserving cannot see that being a bank manager is stressful enough, without having to justify his(or her!)salary, then what hope have we got getting people back into work?
I would like a bit more money yes, but I'm not prepared to work my way up in the Alliance & Leicester.
It's a tough old climb, requiring long hours and an ability to find numbers interesting.
No. This public outcry is just professional jealousy.
If all the jobless, and disableds and irresponsible shirkers want parity with the Captain Mainwarings of this world, perhaps they should get their fingers out, stop watching Jeremy Springers, and forge a more prosperous relationship with their Personal Advisers.
If they weren't rewarding themselves with over-inflated child benefits and emus, maybe we could all get through this cold spell without a cap.

(And if I were Allotment Alan, I'd start thinking about more than a protective cap!)

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