Wednesday 16 November 2011

I HAVE A PERSONAL ADVISER!




On the very day that my appeal period ceased, I received a letter from the DWP informing me that I have an interview with my Personal Adviser next week!
The efficiency of the DWP Capability For Work system is ruddy awe-inspiring!
Well done IDS. Well done C&C. Well done JobCentrePlus.

My Personal Adviser's name is 'John' (as in Osborne or Bull).
I was rather hoping I'd be assigned a young filly, because like it or not, I tend to make more of my physical appearance with regard to the ladies.
But I tapped in 'DWP, Personal Adviser, John' into my personal computer's search engine 'Images' gizmo, and I was pleasantly surprised.
In the photo, I'm not sure which one is John, but both of them look like the sort of go-getting, action type that I crave, and neither of them has a moustache, which I'm finding unappealing on both of the sexes at the moment.

Inspired by Victoria Derbyshire's telephone-in (this morning she is inviting work-shy layabouts to explain why they can't find work), I set about creating an action-plan for next Monday.

I have to get to Lowestoft, so in order to avoid being jiggled, jolted & bruised by the commoners on the X2 bus, I've decided to book into a hotel the night before.
Unfortunately, most hotels on the east coast are closed for the season now, but I was assured by the receptionist at the 'Moon in the Spoon' that I could have a room with a disabled toilet AND coffee-making facilities.
I didn't ask her for a quote, as the DWP have offered to pay all expenses to ensure prompt arrival at appointments. They also offer childcare expenses, but the poorly wife doesn't qualify as a 'child under the age of one' as such, so she'll just have to wait until I get home if she wants her bedpan emptying.
She won't do much in 24hrs.

John wants to discuss all the available job opportunities in the area and which ones would be more suited to me;
about returning to college/university to retrain, 'Permitted Work' (which sounds interesting!) and tax-credits for all of my children.
And if John can't help me, he can then arrange another appointment for me with a Disability Employment Adviser, presumably because the advising that John specialises in, isn't anything to do with jobs or disability.

I have to say that I'm excited about all this.
Xmas really does seem to have come early this year!
But I'm aware that excitement or stress can bring on a flare-up, and I don't want to ruin what seems like the ultimate opportunity to finally get me back to work.

As a consequence, I will be taking a slumber-cocktail of amitriptyline, distalgesics, anti-inflammatories, methotrexate and fluoxetine, and retiring to my bed until Sunday evening.
The wife can do her own bedpan for a bit.
It'll be good training.

Goodnight All!


NEXT WEEK:

Would a hard-labour renaissance be a better incentive for petty-criminals?
and
Why ban smoking in cars when the car itself is the real enemy of asthma?




















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